the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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