Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
