it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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