i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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