Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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