The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
