Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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