Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
