all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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