You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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