I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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