this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
