I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
