You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
