bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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