I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
