i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
