I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
