Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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