My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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