so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
