Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
