Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
