Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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