I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
