I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
