can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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