i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm too high and old for this...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
