my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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