Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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