it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
