A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
