If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
