Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
