We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
