scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
