omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
