She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize