Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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