....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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