there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
