Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
kristin has been a bad kristin
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
