How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.