fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
