Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
