My liver just broke up with me...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
