apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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