I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
