dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
