ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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