What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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