I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
