Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
