Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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