You can't motorboat a personality
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
