she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sobbing to NWA
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
