her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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