So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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