He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
