Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
