he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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