Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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