soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's the barista slut.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
