just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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