I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
