hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
