Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
