Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
