Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
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I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
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I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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